The other night I was driving home with Jack and the sun was starting to set. Jack was getting upset because he didn’t want it to be night time, that meant it would be time for bed soon, and he wanted to go visit his cousins instead of sleeping. We were set to go to his cousins house the next day, so I told him he had to let the sun set otherwise he wouldn’t get to see him. He got mad and wanted it to be time to visit right then, but I said if we visited at this time then he wouldn’t get to see them for very long, because everyone had to go to sleep soon.
We hold onto things and ideas we want very tightly. We know what we want to do, and we want it to happen now. We can see the good things, we just aren’t there yet. And going through and waiting is always hard. And when what we have to wait through is the darkness, which can be unpredictable it’s even harder.
Sometimes it feels like the thing we want to happen. The thing is we have to allow that to be an option. We have to let go of the day, we have to let the sun set, and make it through the night if we ever want to see a new day. If we never move into the night, if we settle for less than the best, then we make it harder on ourselves. If we hold on and force things to fit inside a mold that they don’t really belong in, the mold will eventually break or the things inside of it will. We have to fight for things, and we have to know what we want, but we have to let things be as well. The sun sets for a reason. Nothing would survive without the night. We couldn’t strengthen our roots, we would turn brittle and break if we didn’t have the nights to cool the skies. And even though the dark can be scary, it also has a beauty that’s nearly unsurpassed. We can see more of the universe in the dark than we can in the day. We can use that time to hone our dreams, to find our path. But only if we let the sun set on today.
When I was considering what I wanted to do for my career I used to use the word “just” a lot. If I could just make enough money then the job doesn’t matter. If I could just work in this city, then I wouldn’t care what I was doing. If I could just have my dream job fall in my lap that would be fantastic! : ) If I could just do something I’m halfway interested in, then I’d be fine.
Unfortunately, I was never fine doing any of the things that I just wanted to do. Now there are circumstances where we have to JUST do something. Our livelihood depends on it. We have to be able to provide for ourselves. And that’s okay. And we can be okay in that, as long as we are continuing to work towards the things we truly want as well. It turns out a lot of the things we just want are fairly easy to come by. At least at first.
When we just want a job, there are jobs that don’t require any background at all, it’s just that it’s hard to make a living with those. But when we want a job that pays well, that we enjoy doing, and that allows us to feel like we aren’t settling, that’s a bit harder to come by. We justify the places we are at in a variety of ways. We have plans to move on to something else one day, we have to have some means of survival, we are in a safe place, and bad things can happen if we move outside of that comfort zone.
But what it’s important to remember is that it’s not necessary to justify not settling. No one else has to understand it. Only you, because you know what makes you happy. You know what will allow you to be fulfilled in your life. So maybe you have to work a job that is a just job. But that doesn’t mean you don’t continue to take the steps you need to feel fulfilled. You continue to paint, you continue to cook, you continue to look into classes for school, you continue to exercise, you continue to write, you continue to volunteer, you continue to find whatever it is that has the potential to make you feel like you are spending that time in a meaningful manner. Something that makes you have a spot of certain happiness and accomplishment. Continue to pursue that part of you that doesn’t make you qualify it with just. Don’t let the just define your life. Let it pass by as it does while you are on your way to being who you want to be and doing what you want to do. Let your time count. Don’t let your time settle. Because each day the sun will set and you won’t get it back. But if each day you make your time count, if you spend some time outside of the just then each sunset brings a sense of fulfillment.
– I thought I posted this yesterday… I wondered why no one at all had even like it, and it turned out I hit save as draft… Ah, technology and me! 🙂