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Why can’t we be friends?

I happened to be on a news site earlier, and I read the article. I never normally scroll all the way down, but this time my computer decided to make the jump for me. I guess I’ve never paid an excessive amount of attention to the comment section at the bottom of online news pieces, but since my computer decided to freeze there, I took a minute to peruse the comments. I’m not sure what I expected, but the venom injected into so many of the comments was jarring. People are looking to fight. Looking to be mean. Seemingly looking to make others feel terrible about their own ideas or any idea that may be in any way different from what said commenter has decided is the “right way” to feel.

Now, I know people are mean online. I know people are looking to say ridiculous things. But it made me think about just how much time and energy is put into this kind of thinking. And not even in an “internet troll” type of way, but every day. (I just learned what internet trolling is, I’m behind.) We are so comparative in the way we view ourselves. We look at others to judge what they are wearing, what they are eating, what they are thinking. The sole purpose is to judge. If you’ve ever read The Four Agreements, by don Miguel Ruiz, the first agreement is to “Be Impeccable with Your Word.” And by this he means that we have to understand the power of our words, the impact that they have on others, but also on ourselves. Those are our thoughts. That’s what we are spending our time, energy and brain power thinking about. In essence, we are thinking about “how can I look at that person in a way that makes me feel better about the choices I’ve made?” We use looking at others and thinking about them as reinforcement for who we are, but when all we are is someone who spends all their time judging others, we are contributing very little to who we can be. That is time that we don’t get back.

There is so much criticism about everyone’s choices (and media surely plays into this) that we forget that everyone here is just human. We are all people trying to live our lives as best we can at each point in the day. We all have lows, we all have highs. We ALL make mistakes. We make poor choices. We say the wrong thing. We engage in things we know we shouldn’t. We all get sad. We all get mad. We all get confused. We are alive. So wouldn’t our time be much better spent building one another up, recognizing that we all fall short sometimes and instead of judging others on what we perceive to be shortcomings, encouraging one another. Not saying, “hey why are you doing that or why are you wearing that?” and instead allowing it to be okay for someone to make different choices than we might. (Unless of course their choices are putting them in danger – this is a completely different subject – always try to find someone who can help in that case!)

There is so much negativity in the world. Instead of feeding into it, create a spark against it. Feed encouragement. Feed hope. Feed kindness and love. THESE are the things we need more of, all of us. Kind words help us climb peaks. They help us reach the summit. And as we speak them they transform us into the kind of person we want to be. Someone who makes the world a better place. Kindness makes us a contributor. It is through our actions that people learn who we are. It’s up to us to make our actions count.

7 things you may want to know, but maybe you don’t, I’m sharing them anyway

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I have nominated you for the Versatile Blog Award. Your blog has inspired me. If you choose to accept the award, here are the guidelines:

Last week I was nominated for a few awards, and I wanted to be sure that I said thank you to those of you who nominated me. I’m glad that you enjoy reading my blog. I very much enjoy reading yours as well. Patti Clark and Timzauto both nominated me for the Versatile Blog Award, and Diane nominated me for the Readers Appreciation Award. Thank you all! It’s very kind of you. I’m kind of surprised anyone likes my blog. But I’m glad you do.

Here are their websites, you should check them out:

These are the 7 things (I’m supposed to share 7 things I want you to know)

1) I learned how to insert pictures on blogs, but not on the sides yet… progress.. one step at a time

2) I’m a terrible conversationalist in person. I’m only wordy when I write

3) I’m much better with things like this if I had questions to answer, not coming up with them on my own

4) I like proper grammar. Even if I don’t use it all the time.

5) I never, ever use what I refer to as text speak. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the only way I can pretend to be elitist. But I type out words. Maybe I just like typing.

6) My hands turn orange when I eat a lot of vegetables. I got quite concerned the first time it happened.

7) My book is good. You should read it. Amazon won’t let me give it away for free. Otherwise I would. 🙂

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