Stop. Breathe. Re-frame.

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Some days it really does seem like the world is conspiring against us. All things – sometimes small, sometimes big, sometimes both –  have decided to work together to see if we really can reach that breaking point. So, since today started off on a less than pleasing note for me and continued in that pattern, I decided to start reminding myself of what I needed to be doing instead of what I was doing. And then I decided to share it. I really hate when my Monday’s are so Monday. But when we find ourselves stuck that mode, it’s important to stop, breathe, and re-frame.

We stop when we realize that we are irritated. It’s not good to be irritated. Irritation is an indication that something is wrong, so we stop, we pause and give ourselves a second to process the situation.

We breathe because breathing is good for the body and the mind. We need oxygen. Irritation messes up all of our processes and gets us out of order, so we breathe and it helps us to return it to order.

Then we re-frame. And my re-framing went something like this today:

-“Seriously!? No one else can pick up the bath mat off the ground? I’m the only one?” Stop. Breathe. “I am thankful I have hands that work and the capability to pick up the bath mat on my own… And it’s okay for me to feel others around me capable of this too, because I’m thankful they have the health and control to do this also.”

-“It’s so frustrating that no one considers me when they are doing what they are doing.” Stop. Breathe. “Sometimes I don’t consider others, even though I don’t consciously mean to forget to. I’m not perfect, nor should I expect everyone else to be. But I am thankful I have people around me who can help me when I truly need it, and who trust me enough to help them when they need it.”

-“Did you really just spill the glass I told you not to carry in there because it was going to spill?” Stop. Breathe. “I am honestly beyond thankful that I have a child/nieces/nephews who are healthy and who can help clean up after themselves and who are learning how to do things on their own with the desire to be independent and capable.”

-“Why aren’t the things happening right now that I want and need to happen? And why don’t I know how to make them happen? What am I doing wrong?” Stop. Breathe. This one is trickier. Because for this one I have to re-frame personal things, like “am I inadequate? Am I confused? Am I doing every single thing wrong? Do none of the good things I do count for anything?” Stop again. Breathe again. “I cannot force things to happen, but I can be content for this moment to be thankful for where I am, that I know who I am, and that I have the desire to go and do more. And at some point this moment will just be a memory. And right now I am capable. The good things I do count. I am worthy.”

The path of the day may not magically change (although, you never know, it might.). But even those small moments where we make the choice to be conscious of how we take in and respond to what is happening around us make a difference. And tonight I will go to bed with the knowledge that I really probably am super awesome, after all, look how good I did fighting the negative ALL.DAY.LONG. Now, hopefully tomorrow I won’t have to fight it so hard!

 

(Also, if you want to know how to use your worth you help you live the life you want to lead you should read this book.  It’s quick, and easy, and life-changing, and funny, and awesome. 🙂 Was that too much?? That’s  okay, it’s all true. And you are worth taking the time  to learn how to become who you want to become.)

About laurenc129

I'm a mom. Sometimes my hands turn orange. Other times I write. On twitter: @laurenc129

Posted on June 17, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Love your post. DO you share why your hands turn orange anywhere? Just curious! 8) Thanks for the like at Wagblog, by the way.

    • 🙂 Yes. They turn orange when I eat a lot of carotenoids. So if I eat a lot of sweet potatoes… although sometimes it seems like I can just eat a little and they turn orange.

  2. Hello. Great post. i made a link to it in my post today.

  3. Yes, you are super awesome. I am too. 🙂 This post is great any day of the week. Your questions: “Why aren’t the things happening right now that I want and need to happen? And why don’t I know how to make them happen?” really resonated with me. I had stopped and was breathing but this made me reframe. I am making this one of my favorites as I need to read it often and be reminded to: stop, breathe and reframe. Thanks.

  4. I really enjoyed this post. Thank you for sharing. I teach stress management classes in cardiac rehab and one of our topics is healthy thinking. I just introduced “re-framing” the last time I taught healthy thinking.

  5. Yeah, stop and breathe…that’s what I do when I don’t like the things that’s happening in the house.I leave it for a while, go to the garden or do other thing that makes me smile… then get back to it when i’m okay.

    • Well, I hope things in the house improve. But it’s good that you know how to alleviate the issue in a healthy way. Thank you for stopping by and sharing 🙂

  6. Geraint Isitt

    Ever since I moved to the Middle East 7 years ago in various writing jobs, I have learned to exhale a whole lot more. My patience has been tried here but stepping back and looking at things clearly helps. I can totally relate to this.

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