Four truths Dr. Maya Angelou shared with the world

 

Truth is something that can appear to be quite elusive these days. It’s very easy to find half-truths or outright lies, misconceptions, misunderstandings; they are all sitting at our fingertips. So when I find truths that speak to me, that resonate within me in a way that I know in my core this is truth, I try to pay attention.

Maya Angelou was someone I had heard of in high school. We may have read a poem or two, if so I honestly don’t remember. It wasn’t until college that I took more of an interest in her, and in reality it’s probably because I saw her on Oprah. I have a tendency to cringe when speech is seemingly deliberate. When I can tell someone has thoroughly thought through what they are saying and they say it in a very matter of fact manner. I don’t know why. But I typically disengage. So to watch Maya Angelou speak and find myself literally on the edge of my seat feeling as though I am being pulled in a little bit nearer to her with each word was extremely unexpected. She spoke in a very deliberate manner, she knew what she was saying, but this time it was different for me. She was speaking in truth. Every word was one I wanted to hear, and I was glad she spoke with such clarity both in pronunciation and in point. And since truth, as I stated can be hard to come by, I wanted to make sure I shared some of it here, by way of Dr. Angelou.

1.“When people show you who they are believe them (the first time).”

I have found this to be true time and time again. Whether it is in a relationship romantic in nature, a friendship, family members, whomever we have in our lives, people will show us who they are. If someone tells you they are mean, believe them. If someone tells you they don’t care, believe them. If they say they just want to have fun, believe them. If they cheat on you, ignore you, make it a point to hurt you, believe them the first time. They are showing you who they are, and they are making it clear they have no intentions of changing this for you. Once a person shows us what they plan to do, and we stick around, then that is our poor choice. They will easily have the chance to say, “well you already knew” and use it as an excuse. And sadly, they won’t be entirely wrong. We have to learn that being a savior is not supposed to be the same as being a victim. So staying somewhere that is harmful to us to stick it out, to be strong, because we love them and we know they love us if we could just get them to change just one more time is never an excuse. We are saving no one and in trying to do so are only creating inequality within the relationship. We must pay attention to what people tell us about themselves and have enough worth about ourselves to be willing to let it go.

 

2. “…and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well.”

This quote comes from her essay titled New Directions. And it continues along very well with the previous quote. Many times we don’t leave a situation because we’ve planned out a future in our heads. We have something, and maybe we are only holding on by a rapidly fraying string, but we are holding on. There is something in front of us. But when our vision of the future does not match the reality of our future, there is a problem. If we truly stop and look down the road ahead, which most often will look like the road behind and it in no way is a path we should continue down, we must be willing to stop and change directions. We have to let go. We have to imagine a future that is different. We must be willing to try, and not only once, but as many times as it takes to get us to where the future we are imagining has the capacity to line up with the future coming to life in our reality. Whether it’s a career change, a relationship change, or even family that is harming us, we must care enough for ourselves to forge onward towards better things.

3. “It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.”

And on our path to our new places we must let go of the past, lighten our load and forgive. We must be willing to admit to ourselves that we acknowledge what has happened, we understand that we were deeply hurt whether emotionally or physically, whether from and outside source or something we did to ourselves, we must look at the moment for what it is and find a way to release it. It is the only way to move forward successfully. We cannot let those moments define us. We know that they exist. They aren’t likely to be things that we forget. But they are things that we can move forward from without allowing them to control us. Forgiveness is truly one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves.

4. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

In life we all have choices that we make every day. One of the most important choices we make is how we treat others. None of us were immune to people coming into our lives and making us feel bad. As children someone hurt us. Well, in all likelihood, multiple people. Children can be cruel. Adults can be cruel. We are all humans exposed to other humans, and that means life isn’t always going to be pretty. So each day we must make a choice to treat others the way we truly want to be treated. So we must believe ourselves worthy of the treatment we extend to others. We must know that we have the chance to grow a person, to encourage them or to bring them down, and it is essential that we become growers of others. We know how people made us feel. It lasts. We remember being scared, we remember being hurt, we remember being outcast, feeling alone and desolate, that no one else understands or cares. We remember these things because they made us feel like we didn’t matter. And that is not acceptable. We cannot continue a culture of people whose only goal is to make people feel this way. We must do what we can to acknowledge and accept our own worth and love ourselves enough to recognize and grow this in others. To be encouragers and walk in light so that others may follow. So that we can all know truth.

This is an excerpt from one of my favorite parts of her Master Class with Oprah: “to be the best human being you can be” (in every situation)

 

 

About laurenc129

I'm a mom. Sometimes my hands turn orange. Other times I write. On twitter: @laurenc129

Posted on May 29, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 36 Comments.

  1. Reblogged this on Obsessional Neurosis and commented:
    Great post on one of my heroes!

  2. I love the literature by Maya Angelou 💙 She had a way to describe her wisdom about kindness and love in the world and to write and explain it in beautiful, clear words. She inspires me to do good and leave my own trace in the world 💙🌺 Dream and love all the daily luxuries in your life 💙 xx

  3. There’s even a beautiful Light in Dr. Maya Angelou’s eyes.. I noticed it right away in her face on the first frame of the video… What an enlightened soul!

  4. she was in a class all her own, and would never throw stones – but encourage us to be true to ourselves and in turn you become true to others.
    you have expressed the four truths so clearly andi thank you.

  5. Yes, words of wisdom!

  6. What a lovely post, and how true. You have taken 4 wonderful and simple truths of Maya Angelou’s and written so well to them. Looking at #1 – yes, the first time. Isn’t that the challenge? And I love the video you chose – perfect. Into my mind popped something I saw yesterday. On the car parked next to mine was a small bumper sticker, and all it said was “Just be nice.” Maya herself might have put that there.
    Thanks for the post and for stopping by my blog, too. Jeanne

  7. Great post! Amazing woman!

  8. It’s always the mystery of why the caged bird sings. Our loss is I believe her release.

  9. Love And Naivety

    Reblogged this on Too much sanity may be madness… and commented:
    Yes. Four Truths.

  10. A great tribute to an inspiring lady.

  11. I still struggle with #3… and yes… #4… so very, very true…

    Good to see you again Lauren 🙂

  12. Reblogged this on Margaret Mikkelborg and commented:
    Ahh Maya Angelou -your words have such resonance and power …..bless you.

  13. Such a detailed post! 🙂 But I loved your honesty. And what an amazing woman Maya was. Thanks for sharing.

  14. Great write up. And thanks for sharing the masterclass video clip. Great to hear her voice. And what you said about how she speaks slowly and deliberately, I agree…I want to hear more because she is so genuine.

  15. She was an amazing woman.. and I loved listening to her speak…so from the heart and with such wisdom… Diane

  16. Reblogged this on Joanne Hall and commented:
    RIP Maya Angelou – she had the rare power to change how people look at the world for the better, and she changed me, as a woman, as a human being. Sleep well.

  17. Good post. Going to mull over this one.

  18. Wonderful post! I really enjoyed reading it along with watching the wonderful video that you posted. There is a lot of beauty in the world that we live in. Some people lose faith, drive, understanding, and overall enjoyment but it is very possible to find the wonders of the world if we simply close our eyes, enjoy the moment and take it all in. Well done :).

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