Thankful for Losing?

So, whilst watching “The Voice”… the only singing show I watch anymore, I thought about the different people who will be losing, because there are a whole lot of people with talent in the world who don’t win the competition. And I started thinking about what it means to lose. What difference does it make, as so very often it is the people who lose who end up persevering and rising to the top once the competition is over. So then I jumped to the things that I’ve lost in my life.

What difference does it make for us to lose? It seems like a bad thing. And at the time it’s devastating. But, like many things in life, the devastation (the hurt, or fear, or anger) has the capacity, if utilized to drive us. To push us forward. There are certain things in life that we can all taste. Things that are so close. They are tangibly elusive, and we are continuously driven keep working towards them. They are the things that make us feel alive. When we ignore them and suppress them or give in to the devastation, we find that everything gets harder. We become unsure of any goal. It’s confusing. But when we let those losses move us forward, and fill us with strength, desire, perseverance, we become filled with the things we need to survive and achieve. These are some of the most important tools any person can have if they are to ever truly succeed in achieving their goals. And a contest may be one goal, but it only lasts one night. The person we become, the person we choose to be lasts a lifetime and beyond. And THAT is why losing sometimes is something to be thankful for.

About laurenc129

I'm a mom. Sometimes my hands turn orange. Other times I write. On twitter: @laurenc129

Posted on November 26, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 34 Comments.

  1. Reblogged this on Sophia's Voice and commented:
    In all things give thanks…

  2. I agree.

    And remember; in order to “loose”, one must first be engaged in some sort of “competition”.

    Competition is merely a euphemism for war. It always means someone must be beaten, someone must loose, an adversary must be defeated.

    So we base our every action upon a completely negative paradigm. Aggressive, confrontational, competitive, hostile, exploitative and abusive actions are the exception, not the rule. The broad acceptance of such traits as normal in a society results from many generations of relentless indoctrination.

    Cooperation means that everyone can win. People working together for the common good is natural human behaviour. When confronted with disastrous events, people invariably forget their contrived differences and revert to their cooperative, helpful and even self-sacrificing natural state.

    In fact, it is almost certainly this openness and willingness to cooperate that has allowed a small pathological minority the opportunity to cyclically dominate entire populations throughout history.

    “There is no way to Peace. Peace is the way.”
    A.J. Muste

  3. I love this post! We must lose in order to “really” win. We may not win what we think we want but rather what we really need!

  4. “They are tangibly elusive, and we are continuously driven keep working towards them.” …Amen sister! πŸ™‚

  5. This is so relevant to a recent post I just wrote and so much that is going on in my life at the moment, thank you for your inspirational post!

  6. Hello lovely betweenfearandlove, is a new domain. I hope you follow us soon.

  7. Thank you Lauren for these words, received in due season.

  8. I couldn’t agree more… and again… why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up πŸ™‚

    By the way, you’re the first person I’ve come across in the US who uses the word “whilst” – I always thought that was just a British thing, because whenever I’ve said that here in the US, I’ve had to explain and then I usually get asked, “why don’t you just say ‘while’ instead?”


    • I’m sure I learned it from the Secret Garden or some movie like that when I was little which is why I always say it in a British accent in my head… which sounds nothing like the British accent that comes out when I pretend to speak with one! πŸ™‚

  9. Good observations… My wife and I watch the show but, being anachronisms, most of the music doesn’t work for us. WE DO, however, recognize the enormous talent. I’m more a Sinatra ‘ballad-type’ guy. My best to you.

  10. I believe we learn more from losing and making mistakes than from winning. When we lose, we tend to replay the events over and over again, analyzing what happened and why. This tells us where we can improve. Even people who win can improve. However, they are much less motivated to analyze what they did wrong.

    • Yes, you’re right, kind of like when you miss questions on a test, you go back and figure out why you got them wrong so you can get them right on the final. Or even when studying, we go back to the ones we get wrong and learn them better.

  11. When our children were young, my husband and I looked at the participation trophies our children got and wondered when and how the children of today were going to learn the honor of competing and earning a victory and or the grace of accepting defeat. There is something to be said for the very young all feeling good about just playing, but it goes on too long. By the time our kids were really competing, many of the kids were stunned to realize that they didn’t all get a ribbon or trophy, and it got ugly. Even today, there are bad attitudes on the courts and the fields, and I think those attitudes are fostered by the “everyone is a winner” attitude of the participation medal from the younger days–the ones that dragged on too long. We’ve taught our children that they should win and thank their opponent for a good game and if they lose, they should congratulate the winner and challenge themselves to improve. More of those lessons should be taught earlier on, and then maybe people would learn from their losses as well as their victories.

    • I like your philosophy!! It’s really important to understand that we can improve, and if we have no motivation for that, such as losing, then we really have no understanding of how to do so. And as long as we aren’t pushed to develop those skills, we won’t. And then we end up in trouble.

  12. Very true. Losing is a very important part of life. It teaches us how to handle certain situations and can really show your true character. It really helps make you a stronger person… So I agree. It is something to be thankful for.

  13. Academically I wasn’t so great! Sport was all I was good at. Coming second instead of first,never really bothered me. I had 4 brothers that wouldn’t have put up with any kind of sulking from me! *laughing* Totally agree that loosing builds character. Giving something a go without fear of failure is more important. Loved your post!!

  14. I think that sometimes losing just means being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people. I know quite a few folks who are very talented and smart, but just don’t get the breaks. I’ve witnessed first hand people getting more than they deserved because they knew how to work the system.

    I think the most amazing people in the world are those who didn’t have it so easy and gain integrity the hard way.

    So I always take losing with a grain of salt. What’s important is to feel like a winner no matter what πŸ™‚

    • Those are absolutely great points as well!! It really does just boil down to that sometimes. It’s not that you are lacking in anyway, it’s simply that sometimes the cards really are stacked against you, and you have to find other ways to get there.

  15. Wandering Voiceless

    I also love “The Voice.”

    More importantly, great post! Losing builds character. How we deal with losing is more telling than how we handle winning.


  16. Without goals and trying to achieve them our life is at a standstill. It’s in the trying that we achieve even if it takes several tries.

    It’s interesting that when I think of goals…I find myself lacking right now. I think I need to find some new ones…Diane

  17. In the late ’60s some of the young sportswriters (they came to be know as “chipmunks”) realized that the world of athletics is essentially filled with losers. Only one team, after all, wins the Superbowl.
    So what keeps everyone else going? How much courage — and hope — are summoned to go into a game knowing the odds are stacked against you?
    As the chipmunks argued, the losers are far more interesting than the winners.
    Thanks for keeping that awareness going.

  18. Great post. I think society puts way too much emphasis on losing. As you said, we all lose. More than we really think about. Any practice we do to achieve anything is a series of losses until we get it right. Give me a loss coupled with sincere effort anyday….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: