I was thinking about things today, as news comes in and out, and I realized that despite the fact that as I said…life is hard, I feel really good. I feel good about life. I feel good about moving forward. Even when it looks impossible or becomes overwhelming, somewhere in me I know that things will work out. And there is a solidness there, a foundation that never used to exist for me.

When I was younger I was usually bitter or angry or sad. I wasn’t happy. I was very pessimistic. In fact, being a pessimist was ironically one of the only things that I found pleasure in. I felt very lonely, and I didn’t know how to change that. So being in difficult situations only served to reinforce that idea. My mindset was that things were going to be bad, why aim to be happy, why aim to overachieve, or really even just achieve. I could undersell myself. I could just get by. And then I wouldn’t have to deal with failing, or the stress that accompanies trying to truly accomplish the goals I was unwilling to have. I didn’t want to have to deal with hardship, so I opted to make things as easy as possible. I sold myself short, and everyone else, too.

So being where I am now, understanding that I can work each day at becoming more and more of who I want to be. I can work each day at coming back to that place where I know that I am worthy to keep going. I know that I have something to contribute. I know that I am doing things that are in line with who I want to be. Even if I’m not doing everything that I feel I should be, or even if I fall short some days, I still have that place to go back to. I have that position of worth. I have a foundation that everyone has as long as we are willing to be open to it. And that place provides hope. It provides light when there is darkness. It is a foundation that is solid, because it knows that there is somewhere to go. A foundation that doesn’t know there is a future, like the foundations we have that are built on fear and uncertainty, are foundations that falter as we try to move. They can’t hold us up, so instead they entrap us as they crumble around us. But a foundation with a future, one that knows our worth, our light, our love, those foundations can lift us up. They can stand strong. They can hold fast even when the sky falls down. It changes everything. And it changes it for the better.


PS… I nearly passed out half-way attempting to jog while pushing Jack, who didn’t feel like riding his bike or jogging yesterday. So today we did yoga. He knocked me out of position a few times, but since I’m not good at it yet, I figured I would have fallen anyway. Happy midweek you guys!! 🙂

About laurenc129

I'm a mom. Sometimes my hands turn orange. Other times I write. On twitter: @laurenc129

Posted on October 24, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. I hope your message gets out there. There are probably a lot of people that have felt the same as you and need encouragement.

    Also, I have noticed that the older I get the more confident I feel and that we often can look at situations with a different amount of appreciation, after the fact. Not that it helps while we are struggling through any difficult situation, we just need to remember the feeling that things do turn around or need to take a certain path before things feel right/better again!

    • Thank you! That’s very kind! I notice the same thing when it comes to getting older. I find I like what maturity I have found a lot. I certainly have lots of room to grow, so I look forward to that, but it’s really nice so far. I like confidence and courage. And not having to worry about others opinions in a way that brings me down.

  2. My ‘foundations’ as a child and even into adulthood were shaky to say the least…I was not strong and didn’t have good self-esteem…but as you say we can change our foundation and believe and strive for good and positive things for ourselves for the present and the future…Diane

  3. Always refreshing to hear people share about their honest struggles but also to recognize they are a work in process and moving in a direction that enables them to feel good about themselves and where they are. There is nothing easy about single parenting. Period! No matter what people say. It can be exhausting and often you just put one foot in front of the other and keep gong. I love that you are taking time to reflect honestly about how your own mindset effects you. You’re further ahead than most single moms I know who think the answer is to grab the next man to fill the hole instead of using this time to grow. Blessings!

  4. I know I was ready for Haiti before I started reading you blog/ Book, but I honestly think I’m even more set to go now that I’ve done those things (^_^)

  5. Love this because it got me to thinking about when I was your age and how my viewpoint has changed over the years. Will have to blog about it! You have a great day and you do deserve that!

  6. It is nice to have your positivity back on display, here in blogger land. …way to go!

  7. Joy Waters Martin

    Yay ! great to see you are writing again … I’ve missed your posts.

  8. Very well said, as always 🙂 You’re right, of course, without a solid foundation, it’s impossible to build anything…

  9. And even the most difficult things can be accomplished one step at a time! 🙂

  10. You always say what I need to hear. I, too, believe in a solid foundation — a place that gives hope.

  11. Love the positive energy I feel in this.
    Thanks Lauren.

  12. I miss your post, thanks for sharing your experiences and give an advice of it. You are awesome, still so 🙂

  13. I think that type of yoga is considered “play” and is very good for your heart, mind, and body :-).

    Your words were much needed today. Thank you.

  14. Your a fighter and fighters always succeed!!
    So funny Jack pushed you out of position! *smiling* xxx

  15. Plus yoga is easier as you get to stay in 😉

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