“You can’t get full staring at someone else’s plate”

My friend used this quote earlier in the week. I am guilty of this all the time. It’s so easy to look at what is happening in everyone else’s life and wonder why things don’t work that way for you. It’s hard to maintain the focus we need on ourselves without finding a way to compare it with others. By our nature we are comparative, social beings. We want to know what others are doing. We want to know why. And we want to know if it would benefit us just as well or if it will bring us down. And it’s hard not to let those things get into our heads and manifest in a way where fear, jealousy, and confusion emerge.

We have a tendency to throw ourselves off track. We forget our main focus and get confused by all of the little details. But no one else is going where we are going. No one else’s path will be the same. We can do exactly the same things as the person beside us, but still end up with completely different results. We are all suited for different things that work at different ways and in different times. We have to remember that though it’s impossible not to look at what others are doing, we have to keep our main focus on ourselves. We can look to others for guidance and advice, but we can’t look at their situation and spend all of our time wishing things we the exact same for us or believe that doing exactly as they do will make things right for us. We are similar, yet unique. And we have to maintain that balance and go forth in the direction that works the best for where we are at that time. Besides, when we consume someone else’s plate in addition to ours, the ultimate results are rarely  what we’d like them to be!


Happy Friday all, I hope your weekends are wonderful!

About laurenc129

I'm a mom. Sometimes my hands turn orange. Other times I write. On twitter: @laurenc129

Posted on August 17, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 47 Comments.

  1. The way I frame this lesson is: You are always watching your own blooper reel while comparing it to everyone else’s final cut. And you know what? So is everyone else. We always compare what we know about ourselves to what others show about themselves and think we’re coming up lacking. It’s important to catch ourselves doing that and then stop, because it’s just being unkind to the self for no good reason except our imagination running away with us.

    The flip side of this lesson, of course, is that because we don’t know (and can’t know) what’s going on in other people’s lives, we should be kind to them, too. Everyone, everywhere, is fighting a difficult battle with something. Being kind to both the self and to others makes this battle a little less difficult.

  2. Hi
    That is so true. God’s plan for us is unique and because of that we cannot compare our lives to other people. We all have a run to race that is totally different to the next person. Thanks for that reminder and thanks for liking my post.

  3. You have such wonderful insight in this post….I love the quote (gotta make a “page” out of that one, to help me keep in mind)…and your ideas so helpfully add more perspective… I’ve just been thinking and creating some pages about comparing, opinions and preferences…about others and oneself…that tie in with this thinking….it’s such an important concept for living a richer life! thank you for the wonderful ideas!

    • Thank you very much!! And good luck on your creating and comparing 🙂 It’s a great idea! Perspective is so important and looking at all of the different points of view.

  4. Excellent well-written post. A good reminder for us all…

  5. This is good stuff. I’ve been guilty of this so many times, particularly this week. Thanks, I needed to hear this tonight. Stay the course!

  6. What a great thought! Thanks for sharing, because I am guilty too. 🙂

  7. I nominated your blog for the new Reality Blog Award! Congratulations! This is a “no rules Award” and you can find the details here at http://nettrobbens.com/2012/10/10/happy-dancing-reality-blog-award/. Decide what you would like to do based on time and other considerations as there are no rules.

  8. Life is a continual struggle…to stay focused. You’re not alone. 🙂

  9. Glad to see you are back and doing your usual high quality work. Do you mind if I recommend your blog to some readers of mine who want the same type of blog as mine?

  10. Beautifully written post. Wise and thoughtful words.

  11. At first I wanted to tell you that this is all common sense. But then I realized I do the same. So maybe it is not. Well, no it is definately not.
    Thanks for sharing your wisdom with the rest of us…

  12. Brianna Soloski

    That quote made me giggle, but it’s so true. I recently had a milestone birthday and I’m slowly coming around to the realization that I can either sit around and be jealous of what everyone else has or I can take charge and get the things I want, which is mostly the complete opposite of what most of my friends have.

  13. Spot on post. I know this all too well, appreciate the breath of a reminder. Thanks for sharing

  14. Thanks so much Lauren. You have such a wonderful insight on human nature!

  15. Hi — So true! It brings to mind another old Cape Verde slogan, which they used for political purposes but which has philosophic meaning close to the point you’ve just made: “The rice is cooked in the pot.” Meaning, you have to do your own work, in your own life. (We’re each our own pot, and we have to cook our own rice in our own pot.)

  16. Well said…and I like the approach of “thelastsongiheard”…both approaches are complimentary, in my view…thanks

  17. Yep guilty as charged your Honour! I’m always staring at someone else’s plate, sigh….I guess it’s back to my own plate. Thanks for the post!

  18. Another’s plate may appear full…..but looks can be deceiving. Enjoy your own meal. Cherish what you have and add to it thru others who truly care about you.


  19. Joy Waters Martin

    Well said ! Thanks ! Love the picture you painted with “someone else’s plate” — especially since I love food so much (haha) !!

  20. Ah, but sometimes staring at someone else’s plate inspires you to cook for yourself and have a little of what they’re having… but you’re right… it will always be unique to us 🙂

  21. Too true. I batt

  22. At different times in our lives we are so prone to doing that …I can remember. But you’re so right that it doesn’t mean that what works for someone else will work for you because we are different people than them…Diane

  23. What a great quote! We never truly know what is going on in someone else’s life, so there is no true comparison. Each one of us is unique. Wonderful post!

  24. Give.Love.Live.More

    I am definitely guilty I this as well. All that you have shared is true. It’s so hard to compare, but I’m getting better at it!

  25. A great read for a new blogger like myself watching others with so many followers like your self. Thanks, I am getting back to my plate as of now.

  26. I was having a tough day, and your words really helped. Thanks for the post and the reminder.

  27. Our old Pastor used to say; “Let’s keep the main thing the main thing”. Pretty good advice, huh?

  28. We are similar, yet unique.
    Beautiful post.

  29. Its easier said than done…..though I KNOW you shouldn’t compare yourself to anyone else,you can’t help it at times and then you end up depressing yourself

  30. Short, sweet and highly relevant – thanks for another empowering reminder:-)

  31. fransiweinstein

    Food for thought. No pun intended. A great post. Happy weekend.

  32. Really good and oh so wise!! Hugs, Barbara

  33. i am so guilty of comparing, this post is a great reminder to be aware of that and not do it!

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