Confidence lies in you!


I was going to do this post yesterday, because it’s always good to start the week off on a good note. But we had a busy day yesterday, including a morning trip to the dentist for Jack, so here it is today. Pretend it’s Monday. Or since it’s always a good time to feel good about yourself, just start now.

I have a lot of people talk to me about confidence. It’s hard a lot of times to feel confident in our decisions and the choices we make. It’s hard to feel confident in our skills. And sometimes it becomes a bit debilitating when we are unable to reconcile the fact that we are capable with the idea that there may be someone who is more capable out there. Or to reconcile the idea that we are not perfect and we will make mistakes with the idea that we should try anyway.

Confidence is something that comes from within. It’s something that tells us we should try. And when it builds up strong enough it turns that should into action, and changes the statement to let’s try. Let’s go for it. When we have that confidence all those worries start to fade. We can feel it build up inside of us, and that little switch that was on the verge of turning on comes to its tipping point. The light switches on and it shines on where we want to go and what we want to try. The other stuff falls aside into the darkness. And in the beginning it just takes a few seconds of seeing that light for us to have the confidence and courage to step into it. We take that first step.

It’s important to remember once we take that step to continue to go back to the light. We have to remember to keep trying, and that takes maintaining confidence. I think one of the main things we do to talk ourselves out of confidence is to look around at others. We look at other people and start to compare. We look at the journey others have taken and start to compare. It was easier for them. They have better connections. They went to school. They had a good job. They have more support. They know more than we do. They look better than we do. They write better than we do. There are a million things and more that we can use to compare ourselves with others and make ourselves fall short.

Everyone is different. We all have a different journey. We all have a path that to someone else looks easier. We all have things about ourselves that don’t match up the way we would like. But we are all capable. Maybe our path is harder, maybe it’s not. Neither one matters. What matters is that we try. What matters is that we go on our journey. We take our chances, and we put in the effort it takes, whatever it is, to accomplish what we have set out to accomplish. We have to be willing to stop comparing in order to maintain our confidence. We have to believe in ourselves and believe in our ability to get to where we are going. We have to believe that we are worthy of going where we want to go, because WE ARE. We have to remember that we are all just people. We all have short comings. We all make mistakes. And we all pass on chances we wish we would have taken. We’ve all had people be mean to us. We’ve all had dreams that haven’t worked out. No one’s life is perfect. So the key to making our own life become the life we want it to be is to focus on ourselves. To remind ourselves each day that we can do what we have set out to do. That everyone has struggled, and we have the capacity to get through it. We are able beings. We just have to take control and keep our confidence. We have the chance to go where we want to go, we just have to keep the confidence to make it through. And that confidence lies in us. It cannot be created nor maintained by any other person. We have to believe in ourselves first. And we should. Because we are worth it.

About laurenc129

I'm a mom. Sometimes my hands turn orange. Other times I write. On twitter: @laurenc129

Posted on July 10, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 49 Comments.

  1. I think I’ve shared on a similar blog you wrote but once you bite the bullet per say and decide to do your own “thing” it’s scary at first but you feel so great after. I found that doing what I want to do and even falling short or not even coming close, I TRIED! and I did what I wanted. When you gain confidence in your own choices, you’ll feel great no matter the outcome; especially because you broke social norm and did your own thing.

  2. Very interesting Post! So much (of life) seems to lie in understanding which is the correct question we should be asking. As you put it,
    “We have to believe that we are worthy of going where we want to go, because WE ARE”

    Because we all live in a ‘context of others’, the family that raised us, the family we create, the friends and enemies we earn, it sometimes seems that there is an endless supply of Questions that we should be able to answer.

    Thought provoking Post

    • Ha, it does seem that way. And we do fill so many roles each day. And we take in a vast amount of information. So sorting it all out really can be confusing, and the questions are usually quite warranted. Keeps us growing.

  3. Thanks, I really need this post!

  4. “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” -Albert Einstein

  5. This was very inspiring…thank you! 🙂

  6. Very positive, uplifting and confident post. However…just my view, FYI, I feel that if one has too much confidence – they may become pretentious or egotistical – which is a bad thing in my book. But a little confidence never hurt anyone – and your words are quite inspiring.

  7. Do you think it’s possible to be confident but have no concept of self worth? I think there’s a difference between the two… that’s basically me… I have confidence in me and my abilities, but the concept of self worth is completely alien to me…

    • Sure. I think it’s possible to have confidence and esteem, but the issue becomes that we have no basis for either when we have no self-worth and even though we have confidence we don’t actually get around to utilizing them the way we could if we had self-worth as well.

  8. Hi, Lauren! I just wanted to stop in really quick and thank you for reading my blog and liking my posts. I want to get back here and read some of your posts, too. I’m about to go on vacation for a week, so I’m hoping to catch up on a lot of reading then! I hope you have a good day tomorrow, and thanks again! 🙂

  9. Reblogged this on By Amanda Leigh and commented:
    I find more and more the people are writing the things that are on my mind. Lauren does just that with her post today.

    I’ve been having some inner battles with my confidence lately, and Lauren’s words speak to me.

    Maybe they’ll speak to you too. Please take a moment and check her post out.

    I’ll post something myself tomorrow. Have a great night my lovelies!

  10. Lovely and inspiring – Loved this line very much – “Everyone is different. We all have a different journey.”

  11. Confidence comes from within. But what creates confidence? Is it just there or not? From my perspective, confidence comes from pursuing inspired activities, being completely natural and true to your authentic self. But how does one know the authentic self? Unless we stop to listen to our inner voice, the one behind all the masks and coping behaviors we learn through life, our confidence will always be shaky, always need boosting, either from within or without. Knowing and loving Self takes time and effort, but the benefits are immense: inspired living, true confidence, joy and peace. For yourself and those around you. Thank you for a thought-provoking post!

    • It does take time and effort, and the benefits are immense! That was so well said! Thanks. And my answer to a lot of those questions is that confidence is usually something innate, to some degree affected by geneological make-up, and to the other degree largely affected by self-worth. 🙂 We have to stop and take the time to notice it.

  12. Hello Lauren, A pleasure to meet you. You stopped by my realitively young blogsite. Thank you. I purchased your book and now look forward to reading same. Your words are wonderful.

  13. Wonderfully said. Thank you for the reminder. I may not need it this moment, but will keep it ‘filed away’ 🙂

  14. That is exactly how I felt, I am not a good writer and saw all these extreme well written bloggs I like, but yes like you “Buckwheatsrisk” I was asking myself who am I pleasing, and it is firstly me, I love it, and if I can make anyone else smile or cheer up I am overjoyed. No pressure just fun. My confidence is growing and believing in myself is the most important step I have taken. Reading blogs like Lauren’s gives me even more confidence and joy in life, Thank you Lauren, I love your blogs!

    • Wow, that’s so nice! Thank you very much! I am working very hard at trying to make sure I write things that help others and serve to build everyone up! I’m glad you are writing for you! And your posts make me smile! 🙂

  15. Pamela Hodgdon

    Just when I need some inspiration!

  16. Great post! Valid and true points that need to be incorporated into life on a daily basis. You addressed a lot of the excuses that I make to myself to tell myself why I can’t do something. Really enjoyed reading this post today, thanks for writing it.

  17. This is so true and something I so need to be reminded of!

  18. Wonderful ideas in your post. Yesterday, I heard a great quote that you might like …T.S.Elliot: “ours is in the trying…the rest is not our business” I sometimes struggle with “confidence”…and am learning to just keep going back, again and again and again, to my own positive motivation…but it can be an ongoing challenge, at times.

    • It’s definitely a challenge. And a lot of times for me it comes in waves. I’m fine for a while and then I’m constantly having to go back and reassure myself. But the nice thing is I do go back. There was a time when I never went back, I just gave up. And thanks for sharing that quote! He’s very quotable, and I appreciate that about him! 🙂

  19. so true when i first started blogging i found so many other amazing and gifted writers that i got a little overwhelmed and began to wonder if i had any business blogging…i had a chat with myself and asked, “who am i trying to please?” that helped a lot, those who like it follow and those who don’t won’t and that’s okay. now i really enjoy it and without the pressure. 🙂

  20. Sharing on twitter. Thanks for this great post

  21. This was just terrific! I especially liked the part where you discussed confidence and why it is sometimes lost. I liked your perspective a lot.

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