Getting there: It’s just like riding a bike (and promptly crashing it into a wall!)

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When I think of how many times I’ve had to restart my plans sometimes it feels like trying again is absolutely useless! It seems like every time I start to get going where I want to go, something happens that sets me back. Whether it’s a trip to the hospital, a refusal of help when I really feel like I need it, or a lovely company opting to “go a different route,” things constantly come up that force me to start back again down the road having to find an alternate route.

There are times when I literally think crashing into a wall would be a better option than this continuous struggle to get back up and find a new path. It happens so much with writing, because this is one of the hardest paths I’ve had to travel down. There’s so much life happening all the time that I think it gets to be too much. It’s hard to struggle to get to a place where Jack and I will be okay on our own. And I worry a lot that I’m not traveling down the right path for us. But I think the only way to teach him not to give up on his dreams is to not give up on mine.

In life I see person after person come to me about their careers. People ask me about their careers more than anything else. It’s frustrating to see so many people who want to accomplish their dreams, but have found it too hard to keep starting over. And it’s understandable. It’s hard to constantly try to find your way, and to see that every time a door closes there are other options and that you SHOULD take them. Everyone has a breaking point. And sometimes a break does allow for a chance to refocus. To find more drive and clearer direction for where we need to go. We have to determine what we can give up and what we can’t. The path is filled with introspection and action. Both have to work together.

It’s similar to a relationship. Which the title completely applies to as well! (at least for me!) Relationships have their ups and downs. Some relationships have to end, and we have to start again. It’s important to not make the same mistakes repeatedly. To constantly be learning and growing, so that we can find the person we actually want to be with, instead of the person like the others who it didn’t work out with. These paths are so instrumental to our happiness and well-being that their importance cannot be overlooked. We have to know ourselves well enough to know where we want to go, and who we want to go there with. We have to be able to get back on board and ride with fluidity, avoiding the bumps and holes and walls!

The nice thing about riding a bike, is once you get back on it, it has the capacity to get you where you want to go. From climbing the Alps to down along the shoreline. When we know figure out where we are going, the transportation is already in place. So even though it seems hard to jump back on, it really does get easier. We acclimate more quickly. We can maneuver more precisely with each time we choose to ride again. So even though there are walls, and we seem to crash a lot, we have the chance to recover, and get back up better equipped than we were before. Where there’s a wall, there’s a way around it 🙂

About laurenc129

I'm a mom. Sometimes my hands turn orange. Other times I write. On twitter: @laurenc129

Posted on June 18, 2012, in June, reasons to laugh, relationships, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 45 Comments.

  1. I really enjoyed this piece, it was like staring into the mirror, in some ways!!

  2. I am confident that traveling many different roads (while difficult) allows you riser a wider panorama of the world and leads to great success! Cheers to your journey!

  3. Great ideas and interesting the way you compared it to bike riding. Relationships are hard and full of ups and downs. Hopefully more ups than downs.

  4. Tried leaving a comment just now. Lol. Just getting the hang of this. Nice blog, very encouraging. Inspiring. I look forward to reading more. 🙂

  5. Alot of people have come to me about their career/direction in the past as well. Seems my entire life is a massive start over lately however and the re-slating even involves people. I wish I had a bike to remind me of how starting over goes. I like the comparison here. Wishing you the best with your writing as well lady. And your son is SO cute! 🙂

  6. Thanks for the post. I’ve been crashed into the same wall twice recently. It just occurred to me this morning that maybe I ought to try going around the wall instead of through it. 🙂

  7. Just wanted to stop by and say thank you for liking my recent blog post. I haven’t been able to meet and visit many bloggers recently since I’ve been working a lot on getting my husband’s book ready for submission. Finally, I was able to get it sent in tonight.

    Hoping to check out your blog more later.

    • That’s awesome about the book submission! Good luck to you and your husband. That’s hard work! 🙂

      • Been working on proofing it since April. I had hoped to get help from a friend that is better at punctuation than I am, but even though she did help with the first four chapters, I decided I had to do the rest myself.

        I did learn a lot from the chapters she did help with and hope that the rest of it is right.

        I sent it in last night, finally, and then realized that I still missed a few key points, like the word count for one thing. Grrr.

      • That’s fixable. No worries! It will work out. 🙂

  8. QueenofLaughter

    I completely agree, the best way to teach a child to follow his dreams is to follow yours. So many parents don’t get that— so already you’re on the right path, simply for understanding that.

  9. I’m lucky… I have a job… even though it seems to be trying to kill me right now LOL I wish I had some wise words of wisdom or even comfort, but, alas, none immediately spring to mind. I kinda feel bad about your situation and wish there was some way I could help. So please… if there’s *anything* I can do, just shout 🙂

  10. First of all, thank you for the tremendous giggle just with the title of this article! I really did, LOL! I can completely understand the frustration of writing – I hate to shamelessly plug but check out my other blog http://www.queenliveoutloud.blogspot.com and search for “Just Write”. I swear this “disease” is rampant in a writer’s world (I’m aspiring-although we’re bloggers so we made it, just a little (no paycheck).
    Ty for liking my blog! Humbled and appreciative of the gesture! Keep getting back up, look out for walls and invest in some “bandaids” when the scrapes get deep! Now, back to my other life bc my sig. other just drove me into a wall with a “btw” …

    • 🙂 I really like your blog’s name! And I will look at the blogspot blog. YES bandaids are essential! That’s a great point! ha, thank you for stopping by and the thoughtful post! 🙂

  11. Enjoyed all of your comments. and will read any others.

  12. Our joy is in the change of circumstances but sometimes we just don’t understand it and actually get afraid of any change in it.

  13. voluntaryfiber

    I can relate to starting over and over. I once read a book called (I think) The Book of Days. It describes people based on their birth dates. It said my defining number is 4 – the symbol of the phoenix and too true! Since then I embraced the concept (why fight it?). But conversely, when I used to hike or when I travel alone, I let instinct guide me and I always have amazing adventures! So, maybe I only have to start over when I try too hard to create outcomes! I don’t know…

    • I’ve read a book called The Big Book of Birthdays, which is similar. I don’t remember what all it said, but I remember agreeing with a lot of it! I think instincts are incredibly important. Go with what flows! 🙂

  14. There are times when I seriously think to myself — “What is the point in trying anymore”. Sometimes the lemons thrown at us in life are pretty overwhelming. I guess I generally get discouraged easily and have to constantly remind myself that things will always get better. After all, there are some out there that have it way worse. Consider myself fortunate.

    Nice post. I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks! It was a nice little boost to start off my somewhat gloomy day.

    • I tend to be easily discouraged as well. I’ve always been that way. I’m working on it! I’m glad you enjoyed the post, and I hope your day doesn’t turn out gloomy!!

  15. I feel like sharing so many experiences of mine which resemble this but I’ve come to teach myself despite something being so challenging even if you “fail” you’ve gained some type or reward a lesson of sorts. One major example in my life is when I was engaged I loved the women with all my heart but knew it couldn’t work but I stuck with it, after I finally forced my self to end it I looked back and learned so much from it despite is killing me.

    Another wall I’m trying to climb is the Haiti trip in which I’m working on now, and I’ve learned this can’t be done on my own despite having so much dedication, I’ve come to learn that accepting others help no matter how big or small helps relieve a lot of stress and it actually a great motivator. I love ready your posts I’m glad I had stumbled across them (^_^)

    • That’s one of the hardest things to do. To stop a relationship, especially when it’s come that far, and to be willing to know it’s better to go with what you know to be true than to try to force it or fake it.

      Your Haiti work will definitely require the help of others and I hope you come across the right people who can truly help you on this journey, because I think it will be wonderful! I’m glad you enjoy the blog! I enjoy reading about your adventures as well! 🙂

  16. You cannot imagine how I needed to be reminded of this at this very moment, having just crashed into a wall about an hour ago. LOL. Thank you!

    • I’m glad, I was hesitant about posting this today, so that makes me feel better! Sorry about your wall! I’ve hit a few lately too.

      • I’m really believing there are no coincidences :-). I would hope that hearing how your words helped me, you’ll have a little extra umph to keep getting back up and trying as well. You’re not in this alone by any means :-D.

      • Thanks! It does help, and I really appreciate that!! It’s nice to know we are not alone! 🙂

  17. Dear Lauren,
    I started over with two little ones and I know how very hard it is! You might, when you have that spare few seconds, read this post. It might give you hope! http://peninhand.org/2012/04/22/hearts-arent-crystal/
    I enjoy your writing
    Sincerely, Catherine

  18. A great ending to a great post… Very informative- it is true, the ups and downs are a part of every sphere of life, it is how we tackle them that matters. The way we are walking upon won’t be easy because this is life.
    Introspection is truly necessary in today’s hard paced life with so many desires, so many dreams coming up and so much pressure of achieving something..

    • You are right. I tend to feel a lot of pressure a lot of the time! I work hard to make sure I take time to try to counteract it while still feeling like I’m doing something. Thank you for sharing! 🙂

  19. Our life themes are very similar, it seems. Good post.

  20. I like this post, but have to say, my path is only that when I look back over it. It was never what i had planned or tried to do. There is some kind of happenstance something always putting me into a next step I never intended, I have come now to believe that looking back, it was this, and inner guidance impulses that kept me to one direction I did not even know I had. Not my self-determined efforts to stick to a goal. I am one of your followers, and you must be one of mine on wordpress.

    • I think that inner guidance is one of the best guidance sources we have. If we just listen to what feels right then we are going where we need to go many times. As long as we are listening! I am not a big planner or goal setter. I mostly try to stay open, because I do usually have something I am trying to accomplish, particularly with writing. (and relationships). I have however, started to make an effort to figure out my goals (which are available to change at any point) so that I know whether or not there is somewhere I’d like to go that I’m not going. Or if I am really getting to accomplish what I want to accomplish when I look back in life. 🙂

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