back in time
While l was getting ready for bed tonight I found myself suddenly back in time. It was the first year I moved away to go to college, and everything felt real. It was as though I could even smell the smell of Starkville and my apartment in the air. It was the strangest thing. And I realized the song playing in my head was a song called Godspeed by the Dixie Chicks, and it had come out just when I had moved away. What I had been thinking about was leaving my nephews for the very first time. I had spent so much time with them over the last 3 and 4 years since they were born that it was one of the hardest experiences I had gone through. I remember the first time I heard the song I didn’t make it through to the second verse. I burst into tears and changed it to a different track. It’s one of the only songs that I cry at every time I hear it. It perfectly encapsulated how I felt about them, and how I hated being away from them. I can’t get it out of my head now. It’s ironic to me that the song never transferred to my son. I have different lullabies that make me think of him, but Godspeed brings me directly back to my nephews when they were little. When I have those moments where I am seemingly so lucidly in another place I always wonder what part of us stays behind? What mark do we leave? What traces are possibly woven ahead? It just feels so real. Like I can touch the walls from my apartment. Smell the smell of the roads. If I open my eyes I can see the city and all of the places I used to go. A true testament to how powerful the mind and our memories (and music) can be.